Just like clockwork

I am so tired. What the hell.

It's as if I had a timer set that said "every fourth week, you will lose all motivation, all inspiration, the ability to function and, just to be ironic, you'll be completely fatigued as if you were working non-stop." That's me today. Great. Welcome to recovery week... sigh.

My goal this week: just do the workouts. Just DO them!

So far today, I have accomplished a swim. Two laps of drills (25 drill/25 reg) and one 1000y TT. Right goggle eye decided to allow water in the whole time, so my eye is red and irritated and the swim was uncomfortable. Swim clip kept slipping and I had to fix it multiple times. I cannot afford to have equipment malfunctions like this during the race, I'm barely functional as a swimmer as it is. Bah.

Here are my laps for the TT:

L1: 55.15
L2: 1'01.47
L3: 1'07.44 (swim clip)
L4: 56.63
L5: 59.61
L6: 1'02.74
L7: 1'01.21
L8: 1'02.54
L9: 58.97
L10: 1'01.31
L11: 1'00.95
L12: 1'03.58
L13: 1'02.99
L14: 1'03.25
L15: 1'05.12 (swim clip)
L16: 1'03.08
L17: 1'01.72
L18: 1'03.74
L19: 1'08.29 (swim clip)
L20: 1'02.55
Total: 20'37.34
Avg: 1'01.867 per 50 yards

I altered my usual turnaround tactic, so I used the wall much less and had almost no "glide" time before I began my stroke. Toward the second half of the swim, I was actually doing the open turn with my arm poised to enter the water for a catch as soon as I straightened out. I feel like I have been relying on the wall too much to lower my stroke count and give me a lot of rest time. I won't have any walls in the Potomac.

I watched the NYC Tri swim today. I was fairly overcome with a mix of emotions and states of mind as I watched the swimmers make their way down the Hudson. Feelings of terror and exhaustion; putting myself into a mindset where I thought about "just swimming, no matter what, for 30 minutes"; thoughts that it was going to take me much longer than that; feeling stupid for feeling anything negative as I watched paratriathletes swim with missing limbs; back to feeling panic, realizing that the Hudson was flowing with the swimmers and the Potomac won't be; wondering whether I'll be able to swim with a wetsuit, since I don't own one yet and don't know how I'll get one; memories of the 450y sprint swim I just experienced and the level of stress and anxiety I was under for less than a third the distance of the Olympic swim...

I have to go ride my bike now.