Swim Fatigue Terror

Easy swim today. At least, that was the intention. I wanted to make sure to blog about it as soon as possible, because the issues I had today are still fresh in my mind.

One hundred meters of mixed stroke followed by 200m worth of drills. I did finger drag, right side kick, left side kick, underwater switch, right side kick, left side kick. The main set was supposed to be two sets of 5 x 100m. Each 100m was supposed to come in between 1:50 and 2:00. In addition, I was supposed to "let the fatigue catch up" with me. Just the thought of this terrified me.

Let me explain. I swam the first 100m at 1:55, this was supposed to be my target speed. Upon turnaround I thought of maintaining that speed and keeping my form strong and consistent. At 150m I started to get a little tired, I tried to think about recovering in my legs and swimming consistently. I swam the second 100m at 2:00.

The third set started out alright, I wanted to keep the pace steady and consider the fatigue catching up to me. And then I started to panic. Just the thought of being fatigued in the water and having to swim through it was enough to set me into a state of mind that disallowed me to continue after 300m. I rested and gathered my thoughts, only 15 seconds.

Finished 400m and 500m with less panic, but also less fatigue, and I think I probably went a touch slower (2:03-2:05) for each.

Two minute recoup.

Decided that this set I was going to start a little easier - 1:58/2:00 - and let the fatigue catch up. I didn't even make it through the first 100m before I started to freak out. I wasn't tired, just mentally unable to allow the possibility of being tired and having to swim. Then it got worse. I started to mentally beat myself up about my inability to swim. I started to freak out about ever being able to finish a race at all. I started to berate myself for being a crappy swimmer. I started to panic about swimming in open water. I started thinking about being in a lake or river and not being able to see the bottom... or perhaps worse, being able to see the bottom. I couldn't calm my breathing and my speed suffered. I made it through to 300m and rested for 30sec. Cleared my mind, swam 4 and 5 out of sheer willpower by telling myself I could get out of the pool when I finished.

Stupid.